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Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Secrets to Staying Married for 50 Years (Or More) : : : Parenting ...
How to help your relationship stand the test of time
Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have separated after 30 years of marriage. Why does it feel so sad? Maybe because, in a reality-TV world, we are so used to seeing relationships go the way of Kim Kardashian. Here?s how to put aside the sad news of spotlighted break-ups and focus on staying with your own leading man for 50 years (or more).
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Stay Alive: This may sound like a smart-aleck answer, but it is true. Take a good look at yourself and realize that you?re not that strapping 20-something anymore and you have to take care of your health in order to make it to 50 years of marriage. Joe Hewitt, a retired pastor, mediator and married man of 50 years? was blunt when asked how to make it to celebrate that many wedding anniversaries.
?To make it to the 50th wedding anniversary, first of all, the couple has to stay alive.? Make the choice and decision to be healthy for you, your partner and your family.
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Take Time to Talk: Life is busy for everyone at every stage of life, but it is vital to your marriage to take? a time out each day and reconnect with your spouse. Christina Steinorth is a licensed psychotherapist and author in Santa Barbara, California and believes 30 minutes is all it takes to stay connected.
?With all the interruptions couples have between jobs, kids and smart phones, it?s very easy to lose touch with each other over the years, only to find out five or ten years down the line that you have very little in common anymore.?
If you can?t find a solid half-hour, Steinorth suggests breaking into 15-minute sessions. In-depth talks that will involve some Kleenex aren?t necessary ? just some simple conversation. ?Talk about your day, make plans for the weekend or even talk about current events,? she advises ? all to build and maintain a strong bond.
Related:?How to Date Your Husband
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Check-Ups: Everything we own needs maintenance: our cars, our teeth, even our technology need to be charged and updated. So why wouldn?t we do the same for a marriage? Dr. Carletta Perry, a psychology professor, therapist and relationship and life coach, tells couples not to be afraid of attending counseling, a workshop or a fun couples retreat.
?Check ups can provide you with a third-party perspective on issues you ?talk? about well into the wee hours of the morning,?? she says. These exercises will help you learn what?s normal for relationships, teach you new things about how to be a stronger couple or just learn how to have more fun together. Most of all, participating in a check-up can also reassure you that you?re not alone, Dr. Perry says. ?Everyone has problems?even that perfect couple you compare yourself to.?
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Know When to Speak and Know When to be Silent: Certified dating and relationship coach Yvonne Chase says the key to her parents? marriage was being adept at responding with words and with silence. Chase?s mother told her, ?You don?t have to respond to everything you see in your marriage. Stop picking the little things. So what if he didn?t cover the toothpaste? It?s not worth it. Know when to speak and when to be silent.?
Chase also provides a bit of self-reflection with a hint of Gandhi:? Be the change we wish to see.
?Change you. Don?t waste your time trying to change your spouse. It?s an exercise in futility. Work on the person in the mirror and that will bring the changes you want to see in your marriage.?
Related: 4 Tips for Staying in Love With Your Spouse
Fight! We?ve heard it before, so why hasn?t it stuck yet? Hapy couples need air ? and resolve ? their grievances.
?Couples who don?t fight at all are actually more likely to divorce that couples who do fight, but do it productively,? Soos points out.
Happy couples have figured out how to hash out their problems in a manner that is respectful and gets problems solved. To do this, you need to know the ?rules of fight club.? They include starting conversations with a soft-start-don?t go into a discussion with swords already drawn. It?s also wise to know when to take a break if you get emotionally overloaded. A half-hour can make a huge difference when things get heated, so step away and return when you?ve taken a breath. And lastly, don?t be too extreme on either end when an argument starts. Soos warns that couples enter gridlock when one or both people either refuse to talk or want to fight about everything at that moment.
Finally, one of the best pieces of advice came from Jack Quinn, married 52 years, who simply says, ?Don?t sweat the small stuff and don?t do anything that you would be ashamed to tell your children or your wife.??
More from?GalTime.com:
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Source: http://www.parentingbookmark.com/galtime/secrets-to-staying-married-for-50-years-or-more/
12 Places Businesses Should Be Collecting Online Reviews - SEO ...
From: HubSpot's Inbound Internet Marketing Blog - 1:00pm - October 23, 2012We (and the internet for the past half a decade) have already spent some time convincing you of the importance of acquiring online reviews for your business. So let's just assume you're sold on the benefits of having a bunch of people tout how awesome you are on the web. That being said, I don't think it's safe to assume we all know exactly where in the wide world of the web we can point those well-wishers when they want to sing your praises. I mean, we might all be able to rattle off one or two sites ("Yelp! and I think somehow you can do it on Google, right?"), but we don't exactly have a laundry list of options at our disposal. Until today. Dun dun dunnn!!! Here we go, guys. Everywhere on the internet you can get online reviews. So now you can ... you know ... go get 'em. Note: Every industry has niche sites, too. For instance, those in the restaurant industry may want to be on Urban...
Continue reading this article ?
Source: http://ewallstreeter.com/places-businesses-should-be-collecting-online-reviews-5155/
Dow Chemical to close plants, cut 2,400 jobs
Dow Chemical Co., the largest U.S. chemical maker by sales, will cut about 2,400 jobs and shut 20 manufacturing plants to reduce annual costs by $500 million in the face of slow global economic growth.
The facilities to be closed are in the U.S., Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, the U.K. and Japan, the Midland- based company said in a statement released after it inadvertently emailed a draft copy to Bloomberg News. An additional $500 million will be saved by cutting capital spending and curtailing some investments, Dow said.
The job cuts, which amount to 5 percent of Dow's global workforce, follow DuPont Co.'s announcement Monday that it's eliminating 1,500 jobs in part because of declining demand for paint pigment and solar cells. Dow Chairman and CEO Andrew Liveris said in July the company is operating in the worst conditions since 2009.
"Chemicals are a very economically sensitive industry," Jake Dollarhide, CEO of Tulsa, Oklahoma-based Longbow Asset Management, said in a phone interview. "Economic growth in 2012 has slowed to a trickle, and that has spooked a lot of people."
The job cuts announced by the two largest U.S. chemical makers are a reflection of a global economy still struggling to fully recover from recession, said Dollarhide.
"The reality is we are operating in a slow-growth environment in the near-term," Liveris said in the statement. Annual costs savings should be realized by the end of 2014, Dow said. The reductions won't affect plans for new factories on the U.S. Gulf Coast and in Saudi Arabia, or opportunities in the agriculture and electronics units, the company said.
The facilities to be shut down over the next two years include a polyethylene plastics plant in Belgium, a factory that makes diesel-particulate filters for autos in Michigan and an epoxy resins plant in Japan.
Also closing are factories in Spain, the U.K. and Ohio, that are part of the formulated systems unit, which makes polyurethane foams and epoxy products. A plant in the Netherlands also will close.
Dow is scheduled to release third-quarter earnings Thursday.
Source: http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20121024/BIZ/210240321/1001/rss21
ABC's 'Private Practice' ending after Walsh leaves
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Source: http://news.yahoo.com/abcs-private-practice-ending-walsh-leaves-202400645.html
Apple announces iMac speed bump with super-sleek profile
Apple held a "little" media event?today at the California theatre in San Jose that turned out to be anything but "little" -- at least as far as hardware is concerned. Apple announced five (count 'em!) new hardware devices, including:
In this post I want to discuss the new?iMac (press release)?which was last updated in May 2011.
Easily the most surprising announcement of the day, the iPad 4 comes a short?seven months?after the iPad 3 which was announced on March 7, 2012
- Thinner industrial design built from?aluminum and glass with up to 40 percent less volume
- Upgraded display with reflection?reduced by 75%
- Every iMac display is individually color calibrated using an advanced spectroradiometer
- 2.7 - 3.2GHz?quad-core Intel Core i5 processor, or
- 3.4GHz?Intel Core i7 processor
- NVIDIA Kepler graphics architecture - up to 60 percent faster performance
- NVIDIA GeForce GT 650M, or
- NVIDIA GeForce GTX 680MX -?best graphics available in an all-in-one computer
- 8 - 32GB of 1600 MHz memory
- 1 - 3TB hard drive, or
- up to 768GB SSD, or
- Fusion Drive with 128GB of flash and a 1TB or 3TB hard drive
- Two Thunderbolt
- Four USB 3.0 ports
The new iMac isn't yet available for ordering, but Apple provided the following base prices:
- 2.7GHz with 8GB and 1TB - starting at $1299 - available in November
- 2.9GHz with 8GB and 1TB - starting at $1799 - available in December
?
So, are you buying?
Source: http://www.zdnet.com/apple-announces-imac-speed-bump-with-super-sleek-profile-7000006263/
Who won presidential debate? Both Obama and Romney, maybe.
In a presidential debate largely lacking the combativeness of last week's town hall, President Obama and Mitt Romney both seemed achieve their goals in Monday's foreign policy faceoff.
President Obama and Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney laugh at the conclusion of the the third presidential debate at Lynn University Monday in Boca Raton, Fla.
Michael Reynolds/AP
EnlargePresident Obama and Republican challenger Mitt Romney each used Monday night?s third and final debate to try to close the deal with a divided American electorate.
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In a debate without any glaring gaffes and largely held in a more congenial tone than the combative encounter of last week, both men seemed to accomplish what they may have set out to do: Mr. Romney to come across as an acceptable commander-in-chief, Mr. Obama to portray a successful presidency while planting seeds of doubt about a challenger who recently has had the momentum. ???
While the debate?s theme was ostensibly foreign policy, both candidates time and again brought their answers back to the domestic economy, jobs, and who would do the better job of building an America for the 21st century.
?After a decade of war, I think we all recognize we have to do some nation-building at home,? Obama said more than once.
?I certainly don?t want to go back to the policies of the last four years,? Romney retorted. ?It hasn?t worked.
Within that common goal of steering the discussion to the economy, each candidate seemed to have a particular agenda for the evening. The president seemed intent on portraying his challenger as someone ?all over the map,? who lacks the kind of resolve required of the commander-in-chief. ?You keep trying to airbrush history,? Obama told Romney at one point. ?Your strategy [on Libya] has been all over the map,? he said at another point.
Romney, on the other hand, seemed to have stepped onto the debate stage at Lynn University in Boca Raton, Fla., determined to debunk the image of him ? drawn from his own words, in some cases, as well as portrayals from the Obama camp ? as a militarist itching to strike adversaries like Iran with a big stick.
?We can?t kill ourselves out of this mess,? Romney said, in explaining to moderator Bob Schieffer what he means when he says US foreign policy in the Middle East is ?unraveling.?
Using the word ?peace? so many times it became clear he was making a point, Romney even spoke positively of the United Nations and the need to work in cooperation with it.
Romney also appeared to take a lesson from the Karl Rove playbook ? where rule No. 1 is, attack your opponents' strengths ? when he acted to preempt what he figured would be Obama?s touting of the death of Osama bin Laden.
?We?re going to have to do more than killing bad guys,? Romney said in describing what he described as the Middle East?s backward slide under Obama?s foreign policy.
In one of Obama?s best moments, he explained why it was important to take out Mr. bin Laden. Noting that at one point in the past Romney said he would ?not move heaven and earth? to get the Al Qaeda chief, Obama said, ?It was worth moving heaven and earth to get bin Laden? because it sent a message to the world, including terrorists who would target America, and it provided the families of 9/11 victims with closure.
He then told the story, comforter-in-chief style, of a young woman, her father having perished in the World Trade Center attack, who told him what it meant to her that the perpetrator of the crime had been served justice.
Surprisingly, the debate did not continue the who-did-what-when on the Benghazi consulate attack that figured so prominently in the last debate. Indeed, on many issues ? the Afghanistan war, getting tough on China and its trade policies, stopping Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon, strengthening bonds with Israel ? the two candidates seemed to agree more than to disagree.
On Syria, Romney tried to make the case that he would address the ?tragedy? there without ?having our military involved.? But after Romney described what he would do ? like work closely with allies in the region and help develop a coherent armed opposition ? Obama retorted: ?He doesn?t have different ideas because we?re doing what we should be doing.????
Both men spoke of the importance of American leadership, and the role that soft-power goals like empowering women play in ultimately delivering the safer and more prosperous world that is in America?s interests. ??
Polls show that both nationally and in key battleground states, Americans place foreign policy well down on their list of priorities for this presidential election. As a result, it is likely that many voters watched the debate more to judge each candidate on broad qualities like leadership and vision than to score them on policy specifics of Syria or Pakistan.?
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